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Hi, Mike. I'm here. What do you want to talk about?

Uh, well first off, I don't like when you call me Mike. I like when you call me Dad or Mr. Johnson.

Why? You're my Dad.

Because it's disrespectful. I've been raising you for 15 years, taking care of you and your whore mother, and it's annoying.

So you will call me Mike, or you will call me Mr. Sullivan, whatever you like.