Sletterige kamergenoot!

Your wife just told me that she wants me to move out. Is this serious? How am I supposed to find

a different place in this economy with no prior notice? What did she say? She said that I'm too

distracting for your marriage and that me staying here actually puts a strain on your relationship.

Aren't you going to say anything to defend me? I mean, I've seen you. I know that you've been

checking up my boobs because they're objectively speaking better than hairs in every way.